Hallmark Holidaze: Movie Reviews from The Heart or Something

  Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Workaholic woman who no longer believes in love or the magic of Christmas A small town Christmas tradition/festival/competition that is the biggest event of the year A Christmas music montage with characters doing Christmasy things This movie should have been about Bill aka Rebel Without a Claus and Contestant #4 . Everyone else is a straight up monster.  Synopsis: What would our Hallmark Christmas review blog be without at least one movie with Candace Cameron Bure ? Yet again, Hallmark urges us all to get back together with our exes during Christmas time even when the relationship was incredibly toxic.  This time getting back together with your ex is easy when he is a former MLB MVP who aggressively peddles sub-par jerky. All you need to do is compete against him in a cutthroat Christmas Competition to win money for a charity that you don't actually care about! Watch sparks fly as exes Lara and Ben square off to see which one of them i...

Hallmark Tagline: "Tis the season to believe that shoes are a girl's best friend."  UGH.  Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: A flirty horse-drawn carriage ride through the city  A flirty cookie-making scene.  Tragic dead parent who was the embodiment of the holiday spirit  Character named after some sort of Christmas derivative (Noelle)  Workaholic woman who no longer believes in the magic of Christmas  Guardian angel that imbues people with the “Holiday Spirit” and changes lives  This Hallmark Holiday movie review was written by the ever delightful,Virginia Rohan. Not only are we grateful that a published writer has agreed to be a part of our little blog but we also think she is far too nice to be writing these.  ;)  I always pose for pics with a stranger when I get locked in a department store overnight. Synopsis: Noelle used to love Christmas, but these days, the only holiday element that still exci...

Switched for Christmas  tagline:  "This holiday Candice Cameron Bure and Candice Cameron Bure star as twins who swap lives and discover Christmas is better when they work together." Boy, Hallmark is getting lazier with their taglines. Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Tragic dead parent who was the embodiment of the holiday spirit A small town Christmas tradition/festival/competition that is the biggest event of the year  Workaholic woman/man who no longer believes in the magic of Christmas A Christmas music montage with characters doing Christmas-y things A gingerbread house or cookie decorating scene Under the mistletoe make-out scene A flirty ice-skating scene The look of loathing on Happy the dog's face is the same one we all wore while watching this movie. Synopsis: Full disclosure, there were six of us watching Switched at Christmas and copious amounts of red wine were consumed (see picture below). There was a lot of laughter, disbelief ...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Workaholic woman (famous actress this time!) who no longer believes in the magic of Christmas Tragic widower with a young daughter and a heart of gold An uber romantic horse drawn carriage ride through the city/town Features a charming little inn or B&B that is one of the centerpieces of the town and/or is named after some Christmas derivative  A small town whose sole purpose is to celebrate Christmas and/or is named after some Christmas derivative  A flirty ice-skating scene Look! We met our minority quota in our main cast! We are SO with the times.  Synopsis: Jessica McEllis, the biggest actress in, like, all of the world has approximately two days to film what is presumably a low budget Hallmark Christmas movie in a small town that no one has ever heard of but is really super at doing Christmas. But, guys, HUGE foil! Matt,  disgruntled, yet handsome widower/ local inn proprietor/mayor  with a heart...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: A workaholic woman who just doesn't have time for a relationship A playful snowball fight that turns strangely deep and flirty A Christmas music montage with characters doing christmas-y things A gingerbread house or cookie decorating scene Rivals in News but not in LOVE!  Synopsis: Two extremely boring newscasters and ex lovers compete to become Jackée Harry's co-anchor. And guys, they have competed for the same job BEFORE!   Emily Morgan has a total meltdown on her Connecticut local news channel and somehow the act qualifies her for a shot at co-hosting Rise and Shine. Because being able to publicly meltdown is a quality EVERY good reporter needs. Her much more experienced daddy-issue-laden ex, Charlie Fisher , is disgruntled and handsome and, gosh darn it, will try and foil Emily's job if it's the last thing he does! In between competing for ornament decorating segments and heartwarming stories about 100 year ...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Tragic dead parent who was the embodiment of the holiday spirit A flirty/romantic cookie or gingerbread decorating scene A flirty/romantic tree decorating scene A classic "you have dirt on your face let me wipe it off" moment A charming little town Christmas tradition/festival/event that is the biggest event of the year (Holiday Tour of Homes Charity Event) A Christmas proposal or wedding Do you know what this house needs? More giant pinecones! I'M THE BEST DESIGNER. Synopsis: Interior decorator and obsessed-with-becoming-a-December bride  Layla irrationally blames Seth for the fact that her bitchy cousin stole her fiancee at some weird work function because he was, like, there when they met? Layla's ex-fiancee and cousin apparently speed to the alter and she is scolded by Judgey McJudgerson Aunt Lorraine for not wanting to go to the wedding so Seth magically reappears and offers to be her date so she doesn...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Workaholic woman who no longer believes in the magic of Christmas who has a workaholic, stuffy boyfriend Big looming corporate company that is a threat to small town life and/or will be closing down a local business and/or factory An uber romantic horse drawn carriage ride through the city Features a charming little inn or B&B that is one of the centerpieces of the town and/or is named after some Christmas derivative (Gingerbread Inn) A small town whose sole purpose is to celebrate Christmas and/or is named after some Christmas derivative (Cookie Jar) A gingerbread house or cookie decorating scene A small town contest, Christmas based, that's the biggest event of the year The handsome factory owner sure knows how to defend the towns honor. And point at stuff.  Synopsis: An evil corporation without a soul, National Foods, is desperate to buy Aunt Sally's Cookie company so they send a bahumbug workaholic single woma...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Tragic widower with a precocious daughter and a heart of gold Cold, never-been-married woman who has a fear of abandonment and no longer believes in the Holiday Spirit Has the REAL Santa The Northpole is in danger! A Christmas music montage with characters doing christmas-y things Flirty/romantic christmas tree decorating  dancing scene Have you ever wanted an estranged aunt to die and leave you an inn in the middle of nowhere that is a secret power station of Christmas Magic that fuels Santa's Sleigh in his journey around the world to deliver presents to all of the world's children? OMG, so have I.  It's TV's Lori Loughlin! Becky  Donalson-Katsopolis from Full House can do no wrong! ***Before you read this delightful tale, you may want to read our review of the first installment of the  North Pole series , where a young boy saves Christmas by drawing a stick figure throwing sperm in the air.*** Synopsis: Sadly, ...