Hallmark Holidaze: Movie Reviews from The Heart or Something

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Tragic dead parent who was the embodiment of the holiday spirit A flirty/romantic cookie or gingerbread decorating scene A flirty/romantic tree decorating scene A classic "you have dirt on your face let me wipe it off" moment A charming little town Christmas tradition/festival/event that is the biggest event of the year (Holiday Tour of Homes Charity Event) A Christmas proposal or wedding Do you know what this house needs? More giant pinecones! I'M THE BEST DESIGNER. Synopsis: Interior decorator and obsessed-with-becoming-a-December bride  Layla irrationally blames Seth for the fact that her bitchy cousin stole her fiancee at some weird work function because he was, like, there when they met? Layla's ex-fiancee and cousin apparently speed to the alter and she is scolded by Judgey McJudgerson Aunt Lorraine for not wanting to go to the wedding so Seth magically reappears and offers to be her date so she doesn...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Character named Nick or Holly and/or some other christmas derivative A workaholic (this movie has two!) who just doesn't have time for a normal relationship Flirty ice skating scene Bosses making their employees travel to their extravagant Christmas Eve parties instead of being at home with their families  Picking out a Christmas tree scene Two main characters compete in a Christmas themed contest An  über   romantic horse drawn carriage ride through the city OMG Christmas Selfies, guys! The Synopsis: Two workaholic, self-proclaimed "Christmasphobes" are harassed by aggressive mall Christmas carolers, a douchey ex-husband with a car show model girlfriend who likes posing on snowmobiles, and a law-firm that sounds suspiciously like a cult obsessed with marriage and fertility. Plagued by the aforementioned pressures, Nick and Elise decide to to sign a contract (aka the Mistletoe P...

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: Tragic widower with a precocious daughter and a heart of gold Cold, never-been-married woman who has a fear of abandonment and no longer believes in the Holiday Spirit Has the REAL Santa The Northpole is in danger! A Christmas music montage with characters doing christmas-y things Flirty/romantic christmas tree decorating  dancing scene Have you ever wanted an estranged aunt to die and leave you an inn in the middle of nowhere that is a secret power station of Christmas Magic that fuels Santa's Sleigh in his journey around the world to deliver presents to all of the world's children? OMG, so have I.  It's TV's Lori Loughlin! Becky  Donalson-Katsopolis from Full House can do no wrong! ***Before you read this delightful tale, you may want to read our review of the first installment of the  North Pole series , where a young boy saves Christmas by drawing a stick figure throwing sperm in the air.*** Synopsis: Sadly, ...