Hallmark Holidaze: Movie Reviews from The Heart or Something

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist: A flirty cookie decorating/baking scene A flirty Christmas tree decorating scene A flirty horse-drawn carriage ride scene Christmas Eve party that everyone attends instead of being at home with their families Let's all clap at the fact that our homemade decorations will poison the wildlife in our backyard.  Synopsis: Jess, an over-worked assistant for Charles Darlington, offers to watch Charles' orphaned nieces and nephew when she finds out that no one else in the Darlington family cares about them and would rather see the poor kids languish away in a Connecticut boarding school. Will Max, the irresponsible youngest brother, figure out that what he really wants is actually right here under his nose? Or will someone murder Charles for being a cold-blooded automaton who delights in making orphans cry?  Favorite Line: Max: "I like pinecones. Pinecones are fun."  Max totally ate paste as a child.  Random Thoughts We Had During this Movie...

You're Bacon Me Crazy It's time to compare our budding relationship to these over-ripe persimmons! Because, why wouldn't we?   Synopsis: Cleo  is a stuck-up food truck owner who hates sit-down restaurants, has a horrifying fake Italian accent and is dying to win Portland's "City of Roses: Food Truck Competition". No really, guys. That's the name of the competition.  Sam  is a bacon-loving rival food truck owner who just can't seem to stay in one place for very long.  Will competing for the title of Lamest Food Truck in the Greater Portland area halt their burgeoning love story or will bacon have the power to bring them together? Let's be honest, the only reason why we are watching this movie is because it has BACON in the title. Favorite Line: Norma:  What may I ask is the sauce made from? Cleo:  LOVE. VOMIT. Random Thoughts We Had During this Movie: Cleo's quirky! She rides a moped!  Sam's listening to ro...

Yes, dear readers, Beth and I are back! I am sure you missed us desperately. Get ready for "Love in the Time of Quarantine",  a special edition of our wildly popular Hallmark Christmas Movie Review Blog. We'll be stepping out of the Christmas Craze and watching some of Hallmark's latest "Spring Fling" movies.  While we are all stuck home in fuzzy slippers, guzzling down alcohol until they shut down the liquor stores, we hope this brings you comfort when the wine and the excitement of seeing faces over Zoom wear off. In The Key of Love Let's all point at the camera. That will show the audience that we really ARE taking pictures.  Synopsis: On Piedmont Island where the only industry or form of commerce revolves around weddings or ferry boat maintenance, photographer Maggie works for her Grandma's wedding planning business because her music career (along with her relationship) went down in flames years ago. Somehow, even though she is invo...