Christmas at Pemberley Manor

Fios Description of Christmas at Pemberley Manor:

A rich man falls back in love with Christmas and a party planner.

We wanted to include the tagline here, as in previous blog posts, but we couldn't find one and chose the grammatically incorrect Fios description instead. You're welcome.

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:

• A small town Christmas tradition/festival/competition that is the biggest event of the year 
• Workaholic woman or man who no longer believes in the magic of Christmas
• A flirty Christmas tree decorating scene
• A man who may or may not be the REAL Santa
• Big, looming corporation that is a threat to small-town life because they want to either build some sort of development on precious town land or close down a treasured local business and/or factory by Christmas

Those pink knitted reindeer things will haunt my dreams.

Synopsis:

Hallmark kicks off their holiday season by re-telling one of the most epic love stories in literary history. What can possibly go wrong?  

Elizabeth Bennett is a party planner from a prestigious New York firm who is sent to the small town of Lambton, CT and given three days to plan their HUGE Christmas Festival because the new Mayor, George, is, like, a college friend of hers or something. Darcy, the irreverent, rich playboy (he dated TWO models, guys) foils her plans by being bahumbug-y until Elizabeth writes a strongly-worded letter to the corporation buying his family's precious Pemberley Manor, thus forcing him to hold Lambton's Christmas Festival in his front yard before the deal can close. 

With a name like "Christmas at Pemberley Manor" one would assume that it would have at least something to do with Jane Austin's "Pride and Prejudice". NOPE! Besides naming characters Elizabeth, Darcy, George and Jane and having a Manor in Lambton (and we use Manor in the loosest sense of the word) named Pemberley, this Christmas tale has ZERO to do with pride or prejudice or feminism or misjudgment. Or any theme. But Pemberley's caretaker may or may not be the REAL Santa! So, really, suck it Jane Austin. 

Pemberley's new caretaker aka SANTA may have used a tad too much bronzer.

Favorite Line:

Elizabeth: "You refusing to save Christmas for the entire town is going to get you on one of Santa's lists and I just don't think it's the right one!"

Sick burn, Lizzie. 

Random Thoughts We Had During this Movie: 

The fact that Elizabeth Bennett is a party planner has to be making Jane Austin roll over in her grave.

"Elizabeth, you're more of a behind-the-scenes-binder type." A binder type? What the hell is a binder type? And who the hell carries binders anymore? 

Why, Darcy? Why do you HAVE to complete the sale of your great uncle's estate before the first of the year? Hallmark clearly does not understand escrow or a home inspection or zoning laws. A deal to tear down an estate to build condos may take a bit more than four days, Darcy. Aren't you supposed to be the head of an international corporation? Shouldn't you know this stuff?

Elizabeth's best idea for Lambdon's Christmas festival is a Santa village? #BASIC 

I still don't understand why a top NYC party planning firm is planning a festival for a small Connecticut town. My town is just as big and it's planned by two councilmen and a volunteer on Facebook.

Really, George. Your term as Mayor entirely relies on the Christmas Festival? Forget about balancing a budget or working with the police on public safety programs. Just throw a tree-lighting ceremony and call it a day.

Cue the sudden appearance of a giant sinkhole that makes holding the Christmas Festival in the town square impossible, thereby throwing a holiday wrench in Elizabeth's plans for her precious Santa village.

Surely, forcing the one rich guy in town to host the giant festival on the front lawn of his family estate is the only solution to this Christmas conundrum. 

If Mayor George is willing to call in favors and blow a huge amount of money on this giant Christmas festival, one would assume the population would be more than 100 people. There only seems to be about 25 people at any of these events so why does a small town have a budget large enough to throw this holiday festival? Is there a gold mine buried below the town? Perhaps over-mining is what caused the sinkhole. NOW it all fits together! 

For your pleasure, I have included a comparison of Hallmark's Pemberley Manor and Pride and Prejudice's version. I bet you can't guess which one is Hallmark's. 

Conclusion:  How the Hallmark universe portrays Pemberley Manor is pretty much a metaphor for all of their Christmas movies. Trying to figure out how this movie in any way related to Pride and Prejudice made our brains hurt. Save yourself a massive migraine and just watch this scene over and over instead.