Christmas at Graceland
Hallmark Tagline:
"There's no place like home- especially Elvis' home."
No. Just no.
Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:
Synopsis:
Laurel is the VP of some sort of Chicago based company that has no clear purpose except for buying beloved local banks by Christmas Eve. While on a business trip to Memphis, she closes no deals but she does prance around Graceland with her precocious daughter and her concert promoting ex-boyfriend, Clay. Handsome, rice crispy baking Clay is great with kids, throws Christmas Eve concerts and ALSO happens to be her once-upon-a-time singing partner. Whatever will Laurel do?
Favorite Line:
Katy The Intrusive Concierge: "Santa knows this hotel like the back of his mittens."
It takes a special actress to make this innocuous statement sound like a threat.
Random Thoughts We Had During this Movie:
This is the first movie EVER to have been allowed to film inside Graceland. Graceland must really be hard up for cash.
This is the second movie that features a washed-up country music star who plays a workaholic who doesn't actually do her job but instead rediscovers her love of singing at a Christmas Eve concert.
Laurel is playing Christmas music on her computer AND singing along in her cubicle. Her officemates must hate her.
No, Laurel, you are not multitasking. Multitasking requires you to actually be doing more than one task at the same time. You are wrapping Christmas presents at work while doing nothing else. We're pretty sure HR should be alerted.
There is no way Memphis gets this much snow in December. Yup. we looked up the average snowfall on the US Climate Data website and the average snowfall for December in Memphis is ZERO INCHES.
If they say "Mason Jar Snowglobe" one more time, I'm going to throw my glass of red wine at the tv. We get it. You're in the south.
"Even back in third grade-restless. He spent more time in the corner then at his desk." They are laughing like this was the funniest thing they have ever heard. Do they not understand how humor works?
All of the ex-husbands and wives mysteriously disappear and abandon their children. I wonder if Hallmark has a grave of them, buried deep below the eight feet of snow Memphis apparently gets in December.
She is flat out lying to her boss. She wasn't in meetings all day. She had one two minute meeting and then went Christmas shopping. No one in the Hallmarkverse has a good work ethic.
They do a really good job of getting rid of her kid in this movie. Whenever Laurel and Clay need to be alone to move the plot along, the overly intrusive concierge from the Graceland hotel mysteriously appears and takes her daughter to do some Christmasy thing.
Christmas Smores? Christmas Crispies? Putting the word "Christmas" in front of something does not make it Holiday related.
Laurel is bitching about how her boss is "relentless." That's because you're supposed to be on a business trip, Laurel. Not making snow angels with your ex-boyfriend.
I think Katy, the overly intrusive concierge, may have a single white female thing going on.
"We could introduce online banking for Millenial customers!" This is Laurel's million dollar idea to save the bank. This is what makes the beloved community bank owner offer her a job. This is bananas.
"I just froze in line like a Christmas Snowman." STOP ADDING CHRISTMAS IN FRONT OF THINGS. You froze like a regular fucking snowman, Laurel. A regular fucking snowman.
Clay must be a colossally bad concert promoter. There are no celebrities here, the stage looks cobbled together by church volunteers, numerous acts have dropped out and he is forced to rely on his ex-girlfriend, who can't even close a deal on a failing bank, to be the headliner.
Of course, she is going to accept a job at the Memphis bank without hearing about the salary or benefits or knowing whether it will even be open in six months. Don't worry, Laurel, there's always singing at a second-rate Christmas Eve concert to fall back on.
Conclusion:
This picture sums up our Christmas at Graceland experience perfectly:
"There's no place like home- especially Elvis' home."
No. Just no.
Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:
- A flirty snowball fight
- A flirty Christmas tree decorating scene
- A flirty cookie or gingerbread decoration scene
- A flirty ice skating scene
- Big, looming corporation that threatens to either build some sort of development on precious town land or close down a treasured local business by Christmas
- Tragic dead parent who was the embodiment of the holiday spirit
 |
| Fancy running into you here at Graceland, ex-boyfriend from 3rd grade. |
Synopsis:
Laurel is the VP of some sort of Chicago based company that has no clear purpose except for buying beloved local banks by Christmas Eve. While on a business trip to Memphis, she closes no deals but she does prance around Graceland with her precocious daughter and her concert promoting ex-boyfriend, Clay. Handsome, rice crispy baking Clay is great with kids, throws Christmas Eve concerts and ALSO happens to be her once-upon-a-time singing partner. Whatever will Laurel do?
Favorite Line:
Katy The Intrusive Concierge: "Santa knows this hotel like the back of his mittens."
It takes a special actress to make this innocuous statement sound like a threat.
Random Thoughts We Had During this Movie:
This is the first movie EVER to have been allowed to film inside Graceland. Graceland must really be hard up for cash.
This is the second movie that features a washed-up country music star who plays a workaholic who doesn't actually do her job but instead rediscovers her love of singing at a Christmas Eve concert.
Laurel is playing Christmas music on her computer AND singing along in her cubicle. Her officemates must hate her.
No, Laurel, you are not multitasking. Multitasking requires you to actually be doing more than one task at the same time. You are wrapping Christmas presents at work while doing nothing else. We're pretty sure HR should be alerted.
There is no way Memphis gets this much snow in December. Yup. we looked up the average snowfall on the US Climate Data website and the average snowfall for December in Memphis is ZERO INCHES.
 |
| The house that Christmas threw up in. |
If they say "Mason Jar Snowglobe" one more time, I'm going to throw my glass of red wine at the tv. We get it. You're in the south.
"Even back in third grade-restless. He spent more time in the corner then at his desk." They are laughing like this was the funniest thing they have ever heard. Do they not understand how humor works?
All of the ex-husbands and wives mysteriously disappear and abandon their children. I wonder if Hallmark has a grave of them, buried deep below the eight feet of snow Memphis apparently gets in December.
She is flat out lying to her boss. She wasn't in meetings all day. She had one two minute meeting and then went Christmas shopping. No one in the Hallmarkverse has a good work ethic.
They do a really good job of getting rid of her kid in this movie. Whenever Laurel and Clay need to be alone to move the plot along, the overly intrusive concierge from the Graceland hotel mysteriously appears and takes her daughter to do some Christmasy thing.
Christmas Smores? Christmas Crispies? Putting the word "Christmas" in front of something does not make it Holiday related.
Laurel is bitching about how her boss is "relentless." That's because you're supposed to be on a business trip, Laurel. Not making snow angels with your ex-boyfriend.
I think Katy, the overly intrusive concierge, may have a single white female thing going on.
"We could introduce online banking for Millenial customers!" This is Laurel's million dollar idea to save the bank. This is what makes the beloved community bank owner offer her a job. This is bananas.
"I just froze in line like a Christmas Snowman." STOP ADDING CHRISTMAS IN FRONT OF THINGS. You froze like a regular fucking snowman, Laurel. A regular fucking snowman.
Clay must be a colossally bad concert promoter. There are no celebrities here, the stage looks cobbled together by church volunteers, numerous acts have dropped out and he is forced to rely on his ex-girlfriend, who can't even close a deal on a failing bank, to be the headliner.
Of course, she is going to accept a job at the Memphis bank without hearing about the salary or benefits or knowing whether it will even be open in six months. Don't worry, Laurel, there's always singing at a second-rate Christmas Eve concert to fall back on.
Conclusion:
This picture sums up our Christmas at Graceland experience perfectly:
 |
| We know how you feel, Clay. |
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