Broadcasting Christmas

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:
  • A workaholic woman who just doesn't have time for a relationship
  • A playful snowball fight that turns strangely deep and flirty
  • A Christmas music montage with characters doing christmas-y things
  • A gingerbread house or cookie decorating scene

Synopsis:

Two extremely boring newscasters and ex lovers compete to become Jackée Harry's co-anchor. And guys, they have competed for the same job BEFORE!  Emily Morgan has a total meltdown on her Connecticut local news channel and somehow the act qualifies her for a shot at co-hosting Rise and Shine. Because being able to publicly meltdown is a quality EVERY good reporter needs. Her much more experienced daddy-issue-laden ex, Charlie Fisher, is disgruntled and handsome and, gosh darn it, will try and foil Emily's job if it's the last thing he does!

In between competing for ornament decorating segments and heartwarming stories about 100 year old fruitcake, will these two crazy kids cast off their morning news dreams to fall back in love?

Favorite Line: 

EVERYTHING MRS. HENDERSON SAYS. (See the bottom of this post. Trust me.)

Random Thoughts We Had During this Movie: 

Rival reporters who are old flames and are forced to work together. Surely, we haven't seen this before.

Why can't Hallmark afford good carolers? These background people are always crap.

Does anyone else love public national television meltdowns? We need more of this in real life. You go, Melissa Joan Hart. Pave the way, baby.

There are two other people besides Emily and Charlie competing for Jackée's co-anchor job. One is a cardboard baseball player who can't speak in complete sentences and the other is a girl with a reality show called "Save the Date with Kate". These are the only options for the biggest morning talk show in New York? That's highly upsetting.

Oh, I see. This building must be the television station because of the GIANT satellite on the roof. This thing is so big, it looks like it was CGIed. "Hey guys, we may blow our entire budget on creating a CGI satellite but our audiences will really GET that this is a TV station. We may be forced to hire unpaid family members for the supporting cast but we think the trade-off is totally worth it."

They are very aggressive with the holiday wear in this movie. Seriously, I feel threatened by this level of green and red in a dress.

Save the Date with Kate is a southern sorority girl with her own line of clothing, multiple best-selling books, and several popular podcasts. But if this bitch is so perfect, why are her roots so bad? A southern sorority girl who owns a wedding/media empire would never let her roots be so visible. Whoa. I just Legally Blonded that shit. Impressed?

Famous crooner Toby Bradford is the Hallmark Michael Bublé. Also he is next level TERRIBLE. This is the worst jingle bell rendition I have ever heard in my entire life. His vibrato is making my ears are bleed. Instead of CGIing the GIANT satellite onto their TV station, couldn't they have hired an actual crooner?

"I can use wikipedia too." According to Hallmark, journalists do all of their research on wikipedia. Gone are the days of exhaustive research, attending hours of meetings and press conferences, and trolling the streets for sources and stories. That's so passé. Let's just wiki.

The epic Parker Bank & Trust Christmas display that they are sent to cover looks like an EDM concert that a 5 year old put together.

Dean Cain's attempt at chugging mulled wine is my favorite.

I SWEAR MY LIPS ARE TOUCHING THE WINE. I SWEAR.
Oh, look they are dancing in the middle of the sidewalk to street musicians. My boyfriend and I are also occasionally overwhelmed and whipped into a dancing frenzy by a Christmas sax player. Isn't everyone?

After the shocking reveal of how his dad is the only reason he has his cushy New York reporter job, Dean Cain gives very good pensive-solemn-looking-out-the-window face.

And now we get to Mrs. Henderson. The owner of the 100 year old fruitcake and the lynch pin in Emily Morgan's plan to become co-anchor. THIS WOMAN IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

MRS. HENDERSON,  MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
Mrs. Henderson relished her verbal bitch slaps so much that I have to assume Dean Cain cried in between takes. Here they are in all of their fruit-caked covered glory:
  • "I already told the boy with the face."
  • "Hush haircut, the ladies are speaking."
  • "Not you, cheekbones. I was talking to her."
  • "Every trouble I ever had started with a handsome man."
  • "Sentiment kids, sometimes it just isn't pretty."
  • "I see that a handsome man has caused a problem. Let's hear it."

Conclusion:  Everything after Mrs. Henderson exits the movie is a sad, desolate wasteland.



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