Showing posts from 2015

A Crown For Christmas

Hallmark Movie Checklist: Down on her luck girl loses job right before ChristmasTragic dead parents who were the embodiment of the Holiday SpiritTragic Widower with a precocious daughter with a heart of goldA member of the royal family-of some country that we have never heard of but whose natives all speak in a British accent- falls in love with a commoner (Seriously guys, there were two this season. On the same channel) 
We wish we could say that this review of one of the features of Hallmark’s FIVE NIGHT MOVIE EVENT over Thanksgiving was so late because Colleen was putting a lot of effort into crafting a well-planned, thoughtful review. But truthfully, it’s so late because she had to watch the damn thing four times since she kept zoning out and didn’t know if she'd missed anything important. It turns out that no, no, she did not. Synopsis: Winnie Cooper - I mean Allie Nolastnamebecauseitdoesn’tmatter- the oldest of a plucky trio of orphans, who are totes supportive of each other, i…

An Awkward Pause

We are taking a break from our regularly scheduled program (so many movies to watch, audience, sooo many) to show you something amazing we discovered while watching these delightful Hallmark Movies. Its a phenomenon we like to call "The Awkward Pause". Since DVR has made it possible to pause the films so that we can retrieve another much needed glass of wine, champagne, rum, or rubbing alcohol, we found that it also allows us to capture the greatest moments in Hallmark Christmas Movie History.

Today we want to take you on a journey of some of our favorite moments over the past Holiday Movie Watching Season.

And now for the the Pièce de Résistance… So amazing that it needs no caption…

North Pole: Open For Christmas

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:
Tragic widower with a precocious daughter and a heart of goldCold, never-been-married woman who has a fear of abandonment and no longer believes in the Holiday SpiritHas the REAL SantaThe Northpole is in danger!A Christmas music montage with characters doing christmas-y thingsFlirty/romantic christmas tree decorating dancing scene Have you ever wanted an estranged aunt to die and leave you an inn in the middle of nowhere that is a secret power station of Christmas Magic that fuels Santa's Sleigh in his journey around the world to deliver presents to all of the world's children? OMG, so have I. 
***Before you read this delightful tale, you may want to read our review of the first installment of the North Pole series, where a young boy saves Christmas by drawing a stick figure throwing sperm in the air.***

Synopsis: Sadly, due to incompetent strategic planning on the North Pole's part, The North Pole is in danger of failing Christmas, yet agai…

Charming Christmas

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:
Family run department store during the holidays Character named Nick whose mysterious background leads viewers to wonder if he is, in fact, a part of the "Real Claus" familyCharacter whose parents showed them the meaning of true love and they could never settle for anything lessFeatures unexplainable magical item (in this case, a Mrs. Claus suit!) that imbues people with the "Holiday Spirit" and changes their livesUses picking out a Christmas Tree as a metaphor for finding loveUnder-the-mistletoe make-out scene
Are you a believer in independent stores with big hearts, zero business sense, and quirky owners who are still in love after all these years? Then you need to drop your hot cocoa, put on your comfy P.J.'s, and watch Charming Christmas!

Synopsis: A frosty work-obsessed gal, Meredith, puts on a magic Mrs. Claus dress and fights her need to franchise her small, family business to the big, evil corporation. Will the mysterious…

Ice Sculpture Christmas

Hallmark Holiday Movie Checklist:
Down on her luck girl becomes a dishwasher in her hometown and bumps into a childhood crush/loveTragic, dead parent who was the embodiment of the Holiday SpiritCharacter whose parents showed them the meaning of true love and they could never settle for anything lessGirl is from a humble background and makes hugely profound statements about finding angelsBoy's family is from the upper echelon of society and therefore in need of a "holiday" lesson in classism Flirty/romantic christmas cookie baking scene A charming little small town contest, Christmas based, that's the biggest event of the yearIncredibly humble, annoyingly positive father/daughter team who are always smiling and always taking the high road